Selfcare (Still) Isn't Selfish

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I was having one of those “put your own damn life mask on first” conversations with a friend of mine. Her extended family had been going through some tough times with addiction and illness and she was feeling guilty about feeling any joy and happiness during this time. 
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But riddle me this. How can she show up and be supportive for them if she feels like shit?
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Why is it that we are so stubborn about this though? We are all the center of our own universe, AND we are all the supporting characters in many other universes. But if you have ever watched a movie with shitty supporting characters, you know they don’t help the story line at all. If Sharon is down in the dumps day after day, she’s not being a supporting mother. If Alex is hitting the bottle night after night, he’s not being a good supporting husband.

This is me self-caring myself into pure bliss by the pool. Get yours.

This is me self-caring myself into pure bliss by the pool. Get yours.

BUT if Sharon is loving the shit out of herself, going to the gym, doing her meditations, taking time to rest and recharge, and feeling all around fantastic, she’s probably able to be super supportive to all the universes around her.

“If Papa ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy”, but Papa is in charge of his loving his own damn self (which leads to happiness), and then he’s able to show up in love for his loved ones.

It saddens me that as a society, we still poo poo this. What if we all gave ourselves the love and care we know we deserve. What if burnout wasn’t an option? When you're really happy, do you find yourself being a total asshole? Or are you kind?

Anyway, I really don’t get why taking care of ourselves is considered selfish, it’s literally the only way for us to thrive in this world without harming each other.

Love yourself, so you can spread that love outward. You can’t give what you don’t have.

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PS Decluttering your home and making it a place you love to be in is a HUGE act of self-care and self-love.
PPS I wrote about this awhile ago, and I still firmly believe it. Take care of yourself!!!!!